May you have a year of peace, even amidst the storms life may bring you.
May you find delight in all things free and beautiful.
May your joy be a promise kept and your strength be the love of a friend.
May your hope be in a place that is not too far from where you are now.
Celebrate because of or in spite of the year that has past. (For many of us, it’s both.)
Love your neighbor because it is not evil.
Be honest with everyone.
It was shortly after 11pm, I had just assembled the world’s coolest tricycle and Mama Bear was finishing up some last minute gifts. She pulled out a little last minute gift intended for Dancing Bear, an FM microphone. Think Mr. Microphone, but pink with Hannah Montana stickers on it.
We were attempting to tune it into the radio when we realized that the batteries were not working. Keep in mind that we had thought ahead. There was a large package of AA batteries in the desk upstairs - we just needed to pull down the last 5 to make sure Dancing Bear could sing her heart out. However, when testing our wonderful gift, we both realized that the 5 in the package were the ‘empties’ from other toys.
It was decision time. Would I, Papa Bear, leave the home and go for batteries at 11:30pm on Christmas Eve? Did we really need batteries for what most would consider a stocking stuffer?
I arrived at Walgreens to find that I was apparently not the only parent on earth that needed a few last minute things. The checkout lines were 10 deep each. A third line in the photo area was also full. Everyone was looking rather tired, especially a woman that I assumed had just gotten off work searching for a few presents. Based on where she was, it appeared to be for a smaller child about the age of Brother Bear.
I told her not to get the Hannah Montana FM Microphone.
The batteries were on every aisle. Mega packs of AA and AAA were on sale. With all the people in the store, I was amazed that so many were left. As I made my way to the front, with batteries in hand, all I could think about was a Christmas tune sung by Robert Earl Keen.
Yes, I found the fake snow. No, I didn’t buy it - we still have three inches on the ground from two weeks ago.
The assistant manager behind the counter was wishing folks a good night. The lady in front of me was buying Christmas ornaments. They were the big red ball kind. I thought to myself about why anyone would decorate this late. Then again, who would forget the batteries at 11pm when the kids fell asleep hours earlier? She made her purchase and made her way to the crowded parking lot.
I wished the man behind the counter a Merry Christmas. I told him that I hoped he didn’t have to stay long. He informed me that he would be able to go home at 1am and wrap presents for his children. I didn’t dare ask when he had to be back to the store on Christmas Day. I had a gut feeling that the answer would have made both of us pretty sad. I asked him if there was anything he needed. After a pause, he thanked me and said that he would be okay. He said that he just wanted to make it to 1am.
I told him that I would still be up wrapping presents, too.
After paying, I made my way to the parking lot. It was utter chaos. One man was performing a freestyle rap about his girlfriend and a photoshoot. His girlfriend was nowhere in sight. He seemed to be performing to no one in particular in the middle of the parking lot. He was making his way to the front door, but it was at a very relaxed pace.
Everyone else was rushing around. More and more cars poured in from all three entrances. The lot was full, but folks kept finding spots all around the store. I had parked quite a distance away, hoping to avoid any damage to our car from one of my fellow patrons. It’s still cold here, so it didn’t feel very good to make this trek (a block), but it was worth it. Looking around, it was remarkable how quiet the city was once a person got a few hundred yards away from the only store open.
The city was sleeping peacefully. Shops are closed - even gas stations are closed. As I got back into the car, I was thinking about Fireside Al reading a story entitled “The Shepherd”. If you don’t know about it, go to As It Happens on Canadian Public Radio and look for Christmas Eve traditions. It’s worth it. I’ve seen a lot of fog and cold this year. I’ve felt very lost through much of it. Driving home, all I could think about was the presence of a shepherd close by to watch over me. With no spiritual fuel, no compass, and no visibility, a shadow has appeared to me that has guided me to safe haven.
We don’t have a tree this year. It feels different to be without time-honored tradition. I’m sure it will feel just as odd in April when I think about disposing of the tree only to realize we don’t have one. Even without a tree, though, I have a home to go to.
So, yes, I have to sign off to wrap a few presents. As Frost said, I have miles and miles to go before I sleep. Still, I look forward to happy faces in the morning. I am glad that we, as a family, read the story of the first Christmas and did a devotion on hope. We have great hope, not just in our present circumstances, but hope for the future that really matters. Because of the birth of a child, we have the hope of Heaven.
As I write this, Christmas Day has started here. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Merry Christmas, Rock.
There’s more to write, but I haven’t had much time lately. This week is annual Clean-Out-Your-Desk week, so I should be able to elaborate more this week.
BTW Doug, tis okay. I understand where you are coming from. God has worked things out in all my bad decisions, as well as my good ones. Looking back on the bad ones, though, I wonder if He would have preferred a different choice. It’s difficult for me to believe in a personal God that is ambivalent in major decisions. However, it is quite easy for me to believe He would answer, “neither A nor B, just follow me”. Jesus did that kind of thing a lot.
To everyone else:
I’ll be back in the new year. I’ve made peace with the fact that God is not going to answer me at this time. I think about Gabriel sending news to Elizabeth about the upcoming birth of John the Baptist: up to that point, God had not spoken to his people directly for hundreds of years. People lived and died for generations without ‘hearing the word of the Lord’ so to speak.
In my case, I will have to base my faith on trust alone. For reasons known only to Him, I’m not getting an answer. So, I’ll do what I think is best for my family and me.
Thanksgiving, I visited my wife’s family. We went mainly to retrieve certain items from her father’s house. Still, who can resist a group photo?
I began talking to her father about our decision to stay with the family instead of visit the ICoC(Cooperative) church in Minneapolis. He raised his concerns with my wife’s involvement with the church from 10 - 15 years ago up until she moved to be with me. He expressed some happiness to meet the folks that are part of the ICoC(Cooperative) church we attend here. He felt that they were good people that wouldn’t take advantage of my wife and me.
He also went on to share a common thought I hear from non-Christians. He talked about many Christians do not seem to represent to teaching of their founder. I expressed to him that my wife and I’s days of passing eternal judgment are over. At this point, we are going to strive to obey our founder rather than point out why others are going to Hell.
I give all credit to the wonderful people in the church we attend.
For that reason, I’m staying. My wife has always wanted her family to know God (as opposed to church) and it seems that the Body of Christ locally is representing God very well.
Merry Christmas to everyone. Much love from all of us.
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